Let’s talk about the great divide…

As a parent, you step onto campus, eyes scanning for academic prestige, internship opportunities, and graduation rates.

Your teen? They’re checking out the gym, the dining hall, and… the vibe.

You’re here for logic and long-term benefits. They’re here for instant gut feelings.

You’ve got a checklist of questions for the tour guide. Your son or daughter has a playlist in their head for how they’ll feel walking these paths between classes.

Yet—and here’s the magic—you’re both looking for the same thing. A place that fits.

The challenge? Decoding what that means for both of you…

Step 1:

Understand Their Checklist

(Even If It Makes No Sense to You)

I’ve worked with teens for over a decade, and let me tell you—patterns emerge. And here are two I've found…

Most* guys are dialed into three things right away:

The gym. 💪 (He's already planning his workout routine.)
The food. 🍔 (And no, he’s not checking out the salad bar.)
The people. 👀 (Are these “his people”? Did he see some cute girls that caught his eye?)

* Yes, your son may have a different list. Hopefully, this one will help you attune into his “Top 3” which might include the music program, club sports opportunities, or eSports.

For girls it’s more about:

Can I see myself here? 🥤 (Walking to class, grabbing coffee, hanging in the student center.)
Does this place feel like home? 🏡 (Small and cozy? Big and bustling? Ahh-mazing sorority houses?)
How’s the food? 🍽 (Yes, this is a universal one. Soggy fries can be a dealbreaker.)

And here’s where it gets interesting: the things they’re noticing are actually pretty good indicators of whether this school will feel right for them.

Because at the end of the day, college isn’t just a place where they’ll attend lectures. It’s a home. And while we, as parents, tend to focus on practical questions like, “Will this degree get them a job?”, they’re busy asking, “Will I be happy here?”

Both are important. But if they can’t answer the second one, the first one doesn’t matter.

Step 2:

Follow Their Curiosity

Not every teen is obsessed with athletics and dining hall taco bars. (Though let’s be honest—tacos can be a powerful motivator.)

Some teens are drawn to tech spaces, others to the arts scene. Some want to know if they can still participate in theater even if they’re majoring in biology. Others want to find out if the school’s e-sports team takes walk-ins.

The key here? Meet them where they are.

If they light up over tech, check out the robotics lab. Love music? Sneak into a rehearsal space. Interested in research? Find out if undergrads can work with a professor, or if that’s reserved for grad students.

The goal isn’t to force excitement. It’s to find it.

And that’s when the magic happens—when they suddenly see themselves there, not just as a visitor, but as a student.

Step 3:

Take Notes

(Because Their Opinions WILL Change)

True story: My youngest daughter (who applied last year and is about to make her final school choice decision) is on Dream School, Version #4—and we’re still not at the finish line. 🤷‍♀️

That “dream school” they fell in love with last year? It might be completely off their list by application season. And the one they shrugged off? It could end up being “The One.”

This happens all the time.

So, that’s why I tell parents: Take notes.

Not just the official info—admission requirements, scholarship deadlines, internship opportunities. But also your teen's gut reactions.

📝 “The campus felt too spread out.”
📝 “Loved the student center, hated the dorms.”
📝 “Everyone seemed stressed. Is this a pressure cooker school?”

Because when decision time rolls around months later, these little details—things they felt but might not remember—can make all the difference.

Step 4:

Visit Again

(If You Can)

A college can feel vastly different depending on:

✅ The season. (A freezing cold February tour vs. a sunny spring visit? Night and day.)
✅ Who’s leading the tour. (A quirky theater major vs. a focused pre-med? Different vibes, different insights.)
✅ The day of the week. (A quiet weekend vs. a buzzing weekday? That’s a whole different campus experience.)

If a school makes it to the final round after your teen has been accepted, visit again. Seeing it once gives them a first impression. Seeing it twice helps confirm or change their gut feeling.

One of my students swore up and down that he’d never go to a certain school… until he visited in April after being admitted. Turns out, his first tour guide was just the worst. On the second visit, he met real students, sat in on a class, and realized, Oh, this actually feels right.

Step 5:

Trust the Process

These visits aren’t about finding a perfectly polished answer right now.

They’re about helping your teen gather real information—whether that’s about the academic programs, the social scene, or just how good the fries are.

Because at the end of the day, they’re the ones who will be living there. They need to feel like it fits.

And that means:

✔ Letting them notice what they notice.
✔ Giving them space to change their minds.
✔ Reminding yourself (when they say “I don’t know” for the 47th time) that clarity might just come in layers.

So if your teen spends the whole tour hyped about the rock climbing wall instead of the course catalog? Let them. They’re still collecting the pieces of their future—one gym, one meal, one vibe at a time.

Where’s your family headed this spring? Hit reply and share—I’d love to hear your shortlist!

With love, strategy, and sprinkles on that college cafeteria soft serve ice cream,

Christy

👋 Hi, if we haven't met yet, I'm Christy. I help students craft standout essays so they can submit their best possible applications with confidence.

Wanna chat? www.calendly.com/easiercollegeessays/30min

How to Juggle Your Logic vs. Their Feelings on Campus Tours